مهندسی شیمی۸۹ دانشگاه شیراز (ChE)
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شنبه 25 دی‌ماه سال 1389 :: 09:18 :: نویسنده : آقا سید مرتضی

Ugrading from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
یکی از کاربران شرکت مایکروسافت در یک نامه طنز‌آمیز به بخش پشتیبانی نرم‌افزاری این شرکت چنین نوشت:
Dear Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 . I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 ,Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6 no longer run , crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

A Troubled User.

بخش پشتیبانی نرم‌افزاری مایکروسافت (که گویا یک زن بوده است) در پاسخ به این کاربر چنین نوشت

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
 Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because   Wife 1.0is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony -Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application"Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5and Do Bills 4.2 ..

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the programNag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 andDiamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, installSecretary With Short Skirt 3.3 .. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck
Tech Support